how can u be prego again
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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