Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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