Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
