OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
