It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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