I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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