i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
