I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize