please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
