OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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