My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
