My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Farmville is her only friend.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
