I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
