Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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