let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
