It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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