Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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