Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
