we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
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I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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