I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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