i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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