I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
