can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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