i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
