found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
