Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
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