he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
