someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Buhtt sex?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
