i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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