why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How naked do you want me to be?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
