Im at strip club and am horny
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
