drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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