We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
