Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
