thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
