Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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