I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
