Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
