In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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