how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
