party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
