checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize