You can't special order awesome
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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