Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
