I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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