So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
