I must be too annoying 4 u.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
