either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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