remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
