He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
