the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
