i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
