Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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