I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
