Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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