evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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