Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Soap is not a condiment
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
