UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
