So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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