my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
