I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize