Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
